We are whole.

I believe that within us, we have all we need. We have the capacity to offer ourselves love, safety and belonging… we have the wisdom we need, the tenacity we need, the strength we need. Our ‘shadow selves’ are not proof that we are broken- on the contrary, they are an integral and important part of who we are. EVERY part of us provides us with vital information, care and protection. We just need to learn to listen, to discern, and to empower ourselves to make the choice we want to make.

Empowerment comes from within.

I was taught my entire childhood that power and authority came from outside of me- from those around me, “God” above me… and that I was to distrust myself entirely. I have come to learn and believe that when I wait for other’s authority in my life, whoever or whatever it is, I completely disempower myself. I can’t discern, I can’t make choices and I become a victim of everyone else. By turning within and finding my OWN wisdom, that has ALWAYS been there- the wisdom in my body, in the depths of who I am… I can discern, make choices I am proud of, and take responsibility for myself.

Shame heals in light.

The tricky thing with shame is, that we are ashamed of it. We don’t want to tell anyone what we are ashamed of, we don’t want to deal with it, look at it, feel it. Shame feels horrible, and we avoid it at all costs.

All this does is make our shame bigger, and bigger, and bigger. What heals shame, in my personal experience, is bringing it to light. Talking about what makes us ashamed, admitting it to ourselves and to others, feeling it, facing it directly. Giving it compassion and love. Giving ourselves compassion and love. This is one of the hardest, and the most rewarding, things I have done.

Taking responsibility sets me free.

I believe that taking radical responsibility for my thoughts, words, actions, outlook and beliefs- sets me free. This is where freedom comes from.

When I step up in my own life and claim responsibility, it really forces me to think and make choices that are aligned with who I am… choices that I am happy accepting the consequences for. When I make a choice because it’s aligned with my values and my authenticity, regardless of how others react, I have peace with it. When I consciously choose my life, I have power to change it. By allowing others to dictate my choices and how I live my life, through their actions, their thoughts, or their beliefs about me, I’m a victim to them and my internal fulfillment is based on their internal demons. No thanks.